Installmentally: This “word” is a favourite of
many Nigerians, but, sadly, it simply does not
exist. You won’t find it any reputable dictionary.
The correct thing to say when “installmentally”
comes to your mind is in instalments or by
instalments.
Plumpy: Nigerians use “plumpy” when they want
to say that someone is chubby or slightly fat.
The correct expression is plump.
Disvirgin: This particular “word” is used severally
on a daily basis, especially by Nigerian men when
they intend saying that a woman has lost her
virginity to a guy. The correct word to use,
however, is deflower, because “disvirgin” is not a
word.
Crosscarpeting or cross-carpeting: This is a
favourite of Nigerian politicians and political
analysts alike. They use it when they want to say
that a politician has dumped his political party
for another party, usually a rival party. The right
terms to use when describing this scenario are
party switching, defection and crossing the floor
and not “cross-carpeting” or “crosscarpeting.”
Go-slow: The word go-slow exists, but not in
the way Nigerians use it. A “go-slow,” in the
peculiarly Nigerian context, is a situation in
which road traffic is very sluggish due to vehicle
queues. However, go-slow in the English
language actually means an industrial tactic used
by employees whereby they intentionally reduce
activity, productivity and efficiency in order to
press home some demands. When this happens,
you say that work in the office, factory or
organization is at a go-slow. The correct terms
to use when road traffic is very sluggish due to
vehicle queues are traffic jam, traffic congestion,
gridlock, and (less technically) hold-up, not “go-
slow.”
Cunny: “Cunny” is not found in authoritative
dictionaries, but it can be found in some slang
dictionaries. Over there, it is a slang used to
refer to a woman’s vagina. The correct term to
use is cunning (which is used to describe
someone that is being deceitful or crafty) and
not “cunny.”
Opportuned: There is nothing like “opportuned”
anywhere in the English language, but that has
not stopped its blatant use by all and sundry in
Nigeria, including journalists and writers. The
correct word is opportune. The word opportune
is an adjective; therefore it has no past tense. An
adjective has no past tense. However, some
verbs can function as adjectives or adverbs in a
sentence. These verbs are called participles and
they do have past tenses. They are not pure
adjectives. Examples of participles are fattened,
amused, disgusted, mystified, overwhelmed,
upset and bored. Be that as it may, opportune is
a pure adjective and not a participle, therefore it
has no past tense. Opportune means appropriate
or well-timed.
Alright: “Alright” is a misspelling of the term all
right. All right is used when you want to say
that something is adequate, acceptable,
agreeable or suitable. To hardcore English
language linguists, “alright” is not a word.
However, its usage is gaining traction and it’s
increasingly becoming acceptable. The Merriam-
Webster Dictionary – which is considered the
gold standard among American English speakers
– has recently drawn a lot of criticisms for its
permissiveness when it began indexing some
otherwise colloquial and street language terms,
including “alright.” Most linguists disagree with
the gradual acceptance of “alright” as a word by
the public and even the media, while those in the
minority are “alright” with it.
Wake-keeping: “Wake-keeping” exists only in
the imagination of a few English speakers. As a
matter of fact, there is no such thing as “wake-
keeping.” The correct word is wake and not even
“wake-keep.” Both “wake-keeping” and “wake-
keep” are ungrammatical.
Screentouch: This bad grammatical expression
gained currency in Nigeria and neighbouring
West African countries with the influx of made-
in-China stylus pen touchscreen not-so-smart
phones in the mid 2000s. It was a novelty then;
many in Nigeria had not seen it – or even
thought such advanced technology was possible
– before. So, they looked for a name to call it
and “screentouch” came to mind, after all you
just touch the screen and it starts working. In
case you’ve still not figured it out yet, the
correct thing to say is touchscreen and not
“screentouch.”
So there you have it, 10 English language
“words” Nigerians love to use that are not found
in the dictionary.
many Nigerians, but, sadly, it simply does not
exist. You won’t find it any reputable dictionary.
The correct thing to say when “installmentally”
comes to your mind is in instalments or by
instalments.
Plumpy: Nigerians use “plumpy” when they want
to say that someone is chubby or slightly fat.
The correct expression is plump.
Disvirgin: This particular “word” is used severally
on a daily basis, especially by Nigerian men when
they intend saying that a woman has lost her
virginity to a guy. The correct word to use,
however, is deflower, because “disvirgin” is not a
word.
Crosscarpeting or cross-carpeting: This is a
favourite of Nigerian politicians and political
analysts alike. They use it when they want to say
that a politician has dumped his political party
for another party, usually a rival party. The right
terms to use when describing this scenario are
party switching, defection and crossing the floor
and not “cross-carpeting” or “crosscarpeting.”
Go-slow: The word go-slow exists, but not in
the way Nigerians use it. A “go-slow,” in the
peculiarly Nigerian context, is a situation in
which road traffic is very sluggish due to vehicle
queues. However, go-slow in the English
language actually means an industrial tactic used
by employees whereby they intentionally reduce
activity, productivity and efficiency in order to
press home some demands. When this happens,
you say that work in the office, factory or
organization is at a go-slow. The correct terms
to use when road traffic is very sluggish due to
vehicle queues are traffic jam, traffic congestion,
gridlock, and (less technically) hold-up, not “go-
slow.”
Cunny: “Cunny” is not found in authoritative
dictionaries, but it can be found in some slang
dictionaries. Over there, it is a slang used to
refer to a woman’s vagina. The correct term to
use is cunning (which is used to describe
someone that is being deceitful or crafty) and
not “cunny.”
Opportuned: There is nothing like “opportuned”
anywhere in the English language, but that has
not stopped its blatant use by all and sundry in
Nigeria, including journalists and writers. The
correct word is opportune. The word opportune
is an adjective; therefore it has no past tense. An
adjective has no past tense. However, some
verbs can function as adjectives or adverbs in a
sentence. These verbs are called participles and
they do have past tenses. They are not pure
adjectives. Examples of participles are fattened,
amused, disgusted, mystified, overwhelmed,
upset and bored. Be that as it may, opportune is
a pure adjective and not a participle, therefore it
has no past tense. Opportune means appropriate
or well-timed.
Alright: “Alright” is a misspelling of the term all
right. All right is used when you want to say
that something is adequate, acceptable,
agreeable or suitable. To hardcore English
language linguists, “alright” is not a word.
However, its usage is gaining traction and it’s
increasingly becoming acceptable. The Merriam-
Webster Dictionary – which is considered the
gold standard among American English speakers
– has recently drawn a lot of criticisms for its
permissiveness when it began indexing some
otherwise colloquial and street language terms,
including “alright.” Most linguists disagree with
the gradual acceptance of “alright” as a word by
the public and even the media, while those in the
minority are “alright” with it.
Wake-keeping: “Wake-keeping” exists only in
the imagination of a few English speakers. As a
matter of fact, there is no such thing as “wake-
keeping.” The correct word is wake and not even
“wake-keep.” Both “wake-keeping” and “wake-
keep” are ungrammatical.
Screentouch: This bad grammatical expression
gained currency in Nigeria and neighbouring
West African countries with the influx of made-
in-China stylus pen touchscreen not-so-smart
phones in the mid 2000s. It was a novelty then;
many in Nigeria had not seen it – or even
thought such advanced technology was possible
– before. So, they looked for a name to call it
and “screentouch” came to mind, after all you
just touch the screen and it starts working. In
case you’ve still not figured it out yet, the
correct thing to say is touchscreen and not
“screentouch.”
So there you have it, 10 English language
“words” Nigerians love to use that are not found
in the dictionary.
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