THE SILENT KILLER OF RELATIONSHIPS I have a temper. It’s something I work on, but it’s not something I try to hide. I talk openly about having one and how I try to control it or, at the very least, express it appropriately. I used to know rage well — and not just the road variety either. My anger comes out less these days, but not because I don’t feel it. Every day, there’s a fresh news story reminding me that people, women in particular, have plenty of reasons for rage. But what I’ve found interesting over the years is that my anger when unleashed might be a fearsome thing, but it’s not as dangerous as my quiet. I was in so many relationships where worry was directed at my anger, not my silence. Arguments were seen as potential problems, but my silence was ignored. I never deployed silence as a tactic. It wasn’t a cold shoulder in response to offending behavior. Silence, for me, was the place where I went when all my emotions collided into something so much l...
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